Category → Comedy
My Irrational Fears
Sometimes I get really irrationally afraid of things that do not exist. The most notable case of this happening is when I got really afraid of zombies when I was 10 years old. It was a crippling fear. I cannot talk about anything but zombies for almost 6 months. My parents got really tired of it and try to take me to a child psychiatrist. The child psychiatrist said that I just needed to play out the fantasy so that I could get over the fear of my own terms. My parents did not really take kindly to this. And my older brother was even worse. He was constantly rigging up booby-traps that made fake zombies spring out at me in the yard or in my room. He pretended to be a zombie all the time. The child psychiatrist said that my brother was probably making my condition much worse. What I needed to do was learn zombies did not really exist. I am not sure if the child psychiatrist was right. What if zombies really did exist? Then I was still have to get over my fear and go on with my life. Or alternatively I guess I would just accept that there are zombies. Anyway eventually I got over it and I do not even really remember how now. I think that probably I just found other things to think about to distract myself from the constant fear of zombies. But only a few months later I started to have a terrible fear of werewolves. It is because I heard a coyote howling in our backyard one night. I had a really bad habit of watching scary movies and tricking myself into thinking that the monsters really exist. For a really long time whenever there is a full moon I locked myself in my room and would not speak to anyone or come out even to go to the bathroom. My parents were again really disturbed but they did not want to pay for the child psychiatrist anymore so they just let it run its course and it did. Now that I’m older I do not have problems with this is much but I am still a little bit neurotic and go through periods of time where I am cripplingly afraid to go outside. I guess that all of this probably started with my fear of zombies. But I think that even younger than that I was afraid of things. I think probably the things that I was afraid of were more realistic when I was very little I could be eased or horses. But once the fear of zombies started I just realized that there are so many things that people do not even know about the could possibly hurt them. I guess that most people just go to their lives being totally oblivious to the kind of things that can hurt you. But for me it is very difficult because I notice everything around me and I’m constantly interpreting things to be supernatural signs. It is a hard life that I lead.
Compiling Quote Lists
I have been compiling a list of funny quotes for almost 15 years and I think that I’m done. The list is now at 1055 quotes. That is a great quantity of quotations and I’m very excited about it. My mom tells me that this entire project was a waste of time but I do not agree with her. Now that I’m 30 years old I look back on all the quotes above written down and they all make me laugh. Most of the quotes are things that I said but there are also things that my family and friends and girlfriend have said. I think that everyday people are the funniest people on the world and that there is no such thing as a professional comedian. We are all comedians because we are always making each other laugh and that is what is important. I can’t wait to read my list.